Possesion
by LarkroseLukos
Summary: When Russetfur enslaves ShadowClan, Tawnypelt and her kits flee to ThunderClan. But they will soon find that they are not safe anywhere, and it will take all of Tawnypelt's strength to beat Russetfur at her own game. Rated for violence, death and abuse.
1. Shades Of Amber

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but this plot. All rights go to their respective owners.

Russetfur smiled as Blackstar pulled at his chain for the third time.

"You'll never trap me!" he panted, straining at his rope once more.

Russetfur cackled and patted him on the head. "Stop pulling. You'll never break free."

Blackstar groaned and stopped his fighting. "Why are you doing this?" he snapped.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out."

They were in the leaders den. Russetfur had recently finished putting the chains on all cats that refused her lead.

She jumped back as Blackstar tried to slash her across the back.

"Blacky, Blacky, Blacky." She grinned. "Always doing it that hard way."

She drew her claws and bent down. Before Blackstar had a single chance to move, she swiped him across the cheek till blood dribbled down.

Blackstar cringed but straightened up. "I will not be silenced!"

Russetfur narrowed her eyes. "Bad kitty." She growled.

Then she leaped at him. She sunk her jaws into his open eye and pulled back, ripping the eye out of its socket in a shower of blood.

Blackstar shrieked in pain and screeched again as Russetfur spit in his open wound.

"That will be a lesson to you." She hissed.

Russetfur turned away. She spit the eye out on the floor. It stared back at her, blood oozing from it.

She bent down and ate it, letting the juices dribble down her chin.

_I am in power. Let the lead of Russetstar begin._

XXX

I apologize for the blood. Next chapter will be focusing on Tawnypelt.


	2. Shades Of Tawny

"I'm sorry, Rowanclaw. I can't live like this anymore."

"What do you mean?" Rowanclaw snapped.

"Look around you! Half the clan is in chains and the other are starving. Russetfur is crazy. She's going to kill us all."

"I'm her most trusted warrior! I can't leave now!"

"Well then, maybe you should go and be mates with your precious Russetfur." Tawnypelt growled.

"Come on, Tigerpaw, Dawnpaw and Flamepaw. We're going to ThunderClan."

Rowanclaw leaped in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Tawnypelt, but I cannot let you leave."

"Make me." Tawnypelt spat.

"Please, I don't want to hurt you…"

"Then stop acting like it!" Tawnypelt yelled. She brushed her kits by her side and left Rowanclaw staring after her.

He managed to catch up with her. "You will not pass!"

He jumped up and slashed her across the side, sending blood splattering everywhere.

"Oh- I didn't mean to- I'm sorry-"

But Tawnypelt was already gone, running over the ThunderClan border.

***

Russetfur entered the nursery, a scowl on her face. She marched up to Snowbird and sniffed one of her three kits.

"What are you doing?" Snowbird asked.

Silverkit looked up at Russetfur with wide blue eye. Suddenly Russetfur sank her jaws into the kits neck and bit down till blood poured out and stained the pine needles below crimson.

Snowbird opened her jaws wide in horror and pulled on her chain till she nearly cut her neck open.

Russetfur licked the blood. "Her blood is not pure," she growled. "We must sacrifice her and all her kin."

"NO!" wailed Snowbird. "WHY? WHY NOY ME? WHY HER? SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!" She collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably.

Russetfur had a blank look on her face. "Snaketail, Rowanclaw, kill her and the kits."

Snaketail nodded and stepped forward.

"Please," Snowbird begged, looking at her mate. "Please, Snaketail. Don't do this!"

Snaketail said nothing.

Snowbird stood up. "Kits, run." she panted. "I'll hold them off."

"No, Mommy!" Goosekit meowed. Pinekit nodded and made a sound like a wail.

"Snaketail, I said, attack!" Russetfur's mew was impatience.

"I'm sorry, Snowbird. Leader's orders."

"NO!"

Snowbird's shriek echoed through the night long after her death.

***

"To tell you the truth, Blacky, I didn't think my plan would work." Russetfur mused, studying her claws.

Blackstar didn't answer, only cringed at the sound of her voice.

"Playing the silent game, eh? Well it's not going to work."

"I still find it hard to believe," Russetfur meowed. "That Snaketail actually killed his own mate."

Blackstar peered out from under his tail with one eye.

"Oh, don't worry. I wouldn't kill you." Russetfur laughed.

"I'm not your mate and I never will be…" Blackstar muttered weakly.

"What was that?" Russetfur hissed.

"Nothing." Blackstar shivered.

Russetfur turned away. "I'll believe you this one time. Just because I'm feeling oddly generous today. But when it's time to raise our kits, I won't be so nice."

Blackstar made a moan that sounded like "Kits?"

"Oh, yes. I must carry on my legacy. I think I'll have kits with every tom in my Clan. That way no one is jealous."

"Even Littlecloud?"

"Did I ask you to speak?" Russetfur snapped. "Or do you want to lose another eye?"

Blackstar shot her a half-hearted glare but tucked his head under his tail, wincing as his fur touched his still bleeding eye.

"Good. Now, I'm off to carry on the next sacrifice. And don't even think about breaking free." Russetfur licked Blackstar on the ear and disappeared out the entrance.

Blackstar flexed his claws.

_I'll kill you one day, Russetfur. You can't trap MY clan forever._

***

"Tawnypelt, what are you doing over here? And how did you get that cut?" Brambleclaw asked, shocked.

"No… time… to explain… need… medicine cat…"

"Sorreltail, get Leafpool!"

***

As Leafpool treated her wound, Tawnypelt explained her story.

"It's terrible, Brambleclaw. Russetfur has enslaved the whole clan. I-I can't even tell you how bad it is. She has possession of… Twoleg chains. She's chained half the Clan up like dogs. She's destroying ShadowClan!"

"What- how… Blackstar would claw her ears off for that!" Brambleclaw exclaimed.

"I beginning to think she killed Blackstar. Just like she killed Snowbird and her kits. I heard kits screaming as I fled." Tawnypelt's meow was shaky.

"That sounds terrible." Leafpool consoled.

"And she's been starving us. She's even got Rowanclaw on her side! He gave me this cut."

"Is Momma okay?" Tigerpaw's voice piped up.

Brambleclaw smiled weakly. "She's going to be fine."

***

"What is a _ShadowClan _cat doing in our camp?" Dustpelt snapped.

"I'll explain everything soon."

"We have to get to the Gathering!" Sorreltail meowed. "It's moonhigh."

"Tawnypelt, you better stay in the camp." Firestar suggested. "It's better not to raise questions from the other clans."

Tawnypelt nodded, knowing the ThunderClan leader was wise.

***

"When is WindClan and ShadowClan going to be here?" Jayfeather growled.

Leafpool shrugged.

"Wait! I can smell them." Mothwing meowed.

All the cats turned as WindClan pushed through the crowd. They looked skinny and weak, as if the wind could blow them down at any moment. Kestrelwing bounded over, looking awkward without Barkface beside him. He hadn't been faring well since Barkface's death, and he looked ill now.

Next was ShadowClan. Russetfur came in, leading the band of cats haughtily. Among the crowd was Rowanclaw, Snaketail, Whitewater, and Marshfur. They were all thin and had grim blank expressions on their faces. They passed the other cats like a shadow passing over the moon.

Littlecloud ran over to the medicine cats the first chance he got. He nearly collapsed when he got there.

The small tabby was covered with bruises and lacerations from head to toe. One of his eyes was closed and swollen. He spat out some blood on the ground before scratching the back of his neck.

"What happened to you? Fight with those kittypets again?" Kestrelwing asked.

Littlecloud shook his head. "Worse. Forced mating with… Russetfur." A shiver passed over his body when he said her name, and he looked as if he was forcing back vomit.

***

"I am happy to say ShadowClan is thriving under my lead." Russetfur reported. "I mourn Blackstars death. We all do. But- I have made a decision. ShadowClan is no more. We are now RussetClan."

Whispers flooded through the crowd.

"Can a cat really do that?"

"RussetClan? Talk about self-absorbed!"

"Silence." Firestar raised his tail. "I hope you are making the right decision, Russetfur."

_Oh, I am. You'll all see._

XXX

WOW.

That took me forever. Like forever!  
So… Russetfur is getting a little freaky. Like… scar insane!

Blackstar: Shh! She could be listening!

Until next time,

Lukos


	3. She's The Hunter, You're The Fox

When Brambleclaw returned, Tawnypelt was waiting anxiously for him.

"Well?" she asked.

"As far as Firestar is concerned, Russetfur is just a troubled, strong she-cat who has had to take leadership of her clan to soon after her leaders sudden death. She seems to be leading Shado-RussetClan fine."

"But- you believe me, right?" Tawnypelt meowed.

"I'm sorry, Tawnypelt, but it seems like you're just making this up for attention."

"WHAT? How can you treat me like a kit? I AM NOT MAKING UP STORIES!"

"Tawnypelt," Brambleclaw growled. "You're making a scene."

"I'm leaving! Tigerpaw, Flamepaw, Dawnpaw, you stay here." Tawnypelt turned to her brother. "Don't you dare let them follow me."

And with that the tortoiseshell gathered her wits and ran out of camp.

***

Russetfur crept towards Blackstar, a playful look in her emerald eyes. Blackstar did his best to ignore her lustful growls and nuzzles.

_A she-cat as evil and manipulating as this will NEVER be my mate. I'll just wait till she's put her guard down, then I'll strike. Use the snapping neck technique Brokenstar taught me._

_That is, if I'm still alive to kill her._

"Russetfur!" Rowanclaw called, walking into the den.

"Yes?" Russetfur's head snapped up and she walked over to her "deputy".

"We have a situation over at the border." The ginger tom reported.

Russetfur dipped her head and Rowanclaw left.

"I'll be right back, Blackykins." Russetfur licked Blackstar gently on the head and left.

The second her pawsteps faded away, Blackstar got to his feet. He began pulling, clawing, and biting at his chain, stopping only to wince as his eye stung. Still it didn't budge.

_This is punishment by StarClan for losing my faith. Now they've done this to me. Stupid StarClan._

He paused.

_No wait- not stupid. I TAKE THAT BACK, STARCLAN! Just let me free! Oh, and also kill Russetfur in a flash of lightning. Thank you. And maybe make a mouse appear in front of me….?_

***

Tawnypelt shrank back, cornered by Rowanclaw, Redpaw and Russetfur.

"Take her to the prison." Russetfur orded.

Some time later…

***

Snaketail finished putting on Tawnypelt's chains and left.

The prison was in the nursery. The other prisoners were Whitewater, Littlecloud, Toadfoot, Olivepaw, Smokefoot, Owlpaw, and Scorchpaw.

Whitewater was on her side, her breaths labored and ragged. She carried to foul scent of sickness and there was a large gash across her face. Littlecloud was leaning over her, tending to the she-cat.

Littlecloud didn't look much better. He had several lacerations crisscrossing his body, some still bleeding. His eyes were sunken and tired, brimming with fever. He carried the same scent that Whitewater had, the stench of sickness.

Toadfoot was as thin as hare, his ribs jutting out. When he meowed, his voice was dry and weak, as if he hadn't drank in a long time. He closed his green eyes for a moment and opened them, stumbling on his paws.

Olivepaw was leaning against her mentor, asleep, her paws thrashing in the air. Her brother, Scorchpaw, was standing beside her. One of his ears was torn and bloody, and there was blood leaking from his paw.

Owlpaw was in the corner, his back turned to his clanmates. He looked weak, but of course the haughty apprentice wouldn't dare admit it. He pulled at his chain, and Tawnypelt noticed his neck was bleeding a bit from thrashing.

Smokefoot was chained up on the other side of Tawnypelt. He looked the healthiest of the cats, for her had no cuts, sickness and he looked well-fed.

"Tawnypelt," Toadfoot's rasp rang in her ear. "Don't look behind you."

Of course, Tawnypelt turned around. The body of Snowbird was lodged behind her and Smokefoot.

She gasped and closed her eyes.

Smokefoot dragged Snowbird's carcass into the center. Toadfoot crawled for it and picked up one of her dead kits. To Tawnypelt's horror, he bit down on it and ripped off

some flesh.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She screeched, closing her eyes again.

"Hey, look." Toadfoot meowed, swallowing. "This is the only food we have. The only water we have is their blood. So join the club and start eating."

"Oh no… Russetfur's torture has changed you into monsters! Cannibals! Do we have no shame anymore?" Tawnypelt stood up, weakly straightening her posture. "ShadowClan was once noble and strong and proud. Now what are we? Filthy, chained up creatures. What is setting us apart from kittypets now? Like kittypets, we beg to be fed and spend our days locked up. That is no way to live!"  
For a second Tawnypelt saw a glimmer of hope in her companions eyes, but it faded away. They awkwardly went back to their activities, turning away as if Tawnypelt had never spoken.

Tawnypelt growled angrily and sat down. "Why do I even try…?"

Littlecloud finally raised his head, but his news was grim. "If Whitewater doesn't get herbs _now_, she's going to die."

Whitewater let out a low moan and Littlecloud wrapped his tail around the she-cat's head, cradling her on her journey to StarClan.

Tawnypelt shivered and turned away, feeling more miserable then ever.

"Why are we here?" she finally asked. "Why were all of you handpicked?"

Owlpaw finally spoke. "We were sent here because of not obeying Russetfur."

Smokefoot glanced at Littlecloud anxiously. "Should we tell her?""

Littlecloud nodded sadly. "She has the right to know."

Smokefoot cleared his throat. "Tawnypelt, this place is also a breeding facility. You're supposed to produce kits with Toadfoot. I'm supposed to mate with Whitewater. Littlecloud has to mate with Olivepaw."

"Wha-"

"And whoever doesn't follow the rules is sacrificed." Smokefoot finished.

"What? What? Sorry, this is just too much." Tawnypelt lowered her head.

"I know, Tawnypelt. It isn't easy being trapped here." Smokefoot consoled.

"I'm not sad about THAT. I have to be mates with _Toadfoot?_"

"Boohoo. You have to be mates with me. How do you think I feel? I have to be mates with _you_." Toadfoot snapped.

"And what is wrong with me?"

Toadfoot opened his mouth but Littlecloud interrupted him.

"We might as well stop fighting. We can't change our fate."

Toadfoot glared at Tawnypelt and turned away.

"Has anyone here tried to escape?" Tawnypelt asked.

Smokefoot, Owlpaw, Scorchpaw and Littlecloud raised their paws.

"And how many have succeeded?"

The cats all put their paws down.

Tawnypelt shook her head and laid down. She stretched and winced the long gash on her side ached. She realized it was bleeding again.

They all lay awake that night, listening to Whitewater's breathing grow weaker and Littlecloud's joy diminish.

The medicine cat stayed up all night, even when the others fell asleep, desperately trying not to make his Clanmate go to StarClan. But it was a losing battle, and Whitewater's pulse soon stopped. Hr eyes grew blank and rolled back, and her entire body grew limp.

"If we had herbs," Littlecloud announced the next morning. "She would have lived."

"Maybe StarClan didn't take her away," piped up Scorchpaw. "Maybe they took her away from this living Dark Forest."

The rest of the cats nodded in a steady agreement.

"She's the lucky one." Toadfoot grumbled.

***

When Russetfur returned, she pushed Blackstar over till he was lying on his back. The white tom had been sleeping very soundly.

She crawled onto him till their stomach fur was touching. She put her paws around his neck, holding his head close to hers.

Blackstar opened his eyes sleepily. We nearly leaped for joy.

_She's in the position I want her. Now I just hold her down and bite her neck…_

Blackstar folding his paws on her back, holding her in place. He slowly opened his jaws and reached for her neck with his open mouth…

"I love you, Blackstar." Russetfur whispered calmly.

Blackstar froze. He had never heard a single cat say this to him. Not even his own mother.

"I-I…"

_Don't say it._

"Love you too, Russetfur."

_Idiot! Idiot!_

_No wait, this is good. I'm getting her on my side. This is very good. _

He suddenly became aware that Russetfur was no longer on top of him. He smiled but then opened his eye and felt her jaws drag his head up- then letting his head drop onto the stony ground.

That was the last thing he remembered before everything went black.

***

When Blackstar awoke, his tumbled on his side. His head was aching and the world was spinning.

Russetfur was in the corner, licking a paw peacefully. "You were sleeping like a bear." she hissed. "I thought you'd never wake up."

"What happened?"

"While you were unconscious, I mated with you. It isn't easy." Russetfur snapped.

"But… you said…"

"Did you really think I loved you? Fool. I was only using you." Russetfur crept closer to him.

Then she smiled easily. "I have a present for you." She pushed some small items close to his face.

"Deathberries…" Blackstar muttered.

"I'm going to be nice for once. I know how hungry you are, so I brought you some food." Russetfur grinned even more. "Enjoy."

XXX

He's just a poor boy from a poor family,

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

-Bohemian Rhapsody

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye

So you think you can love me and leave me to die

Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here…

-Bohemian Rhapsody.

So if you are in sight and the day is right

She's the hunter you're the fox

The gentle voice that talks to you won't talk forever

It is a night for passion

But the morning means goodbye

Beware of what is flashing in her eyes

She's going to get you

All that she wants is another baby

-All That She Wants


	4. The Day That Never Comes

Tawnypelt smiled gratefully as Rowanclaw placed a toad in front of her.

"Thank you." she told her former mate.

Rowanclaw nodded but got out of their quickly, not wanting to be seen helping the prisoners.

It had been awhile since Tawnypelt had mated with Toadfoot, and her belly was gently rounded with his kits, though neither parent seemed to want these kits, it was a little too late. Toadfoot and Tawnypelt barely spoke a word to each other.

Olivepaw was expecting Littlecloud's kits, but she spent all her time crying about how she only wanted to be a warrior and never be a queen.

Smokefoot had been sacrificed for his inability to mate with Whitewater. He had protested to Russetfur that the she-cat had died, but Russetfur would not take no for an answer. Instead, he was killed, and Russetfur took his body away. What she did with it further was a mystery. Tawnypelt still woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming of when he had been begging for his life to Russetfur.

_Shouldn't Russetfur be Russetstar? _She wondered, which brought back the same thought. _Is Blackstar still alive?_

***

Blackstar sat in a feverish stare, eyes locked on the deathberries.

_I will NOT eat those deathberries. I'm not hungry… I'm not hungry…_

_How many lives do I have left?_

His ears jolted up in fear when he realized he could not even remember how many lives he had left.

_What's my name? Blackfeet? Blackenedfoot? Darkstar? _His foggy mind struggled to comprehend.

_Russetfur has finally won. She's finally broken me. _

There was nothing left but to die, over and over until he was finally dead.

_I am a leader, right?_

Cautiously, slowly, half dreading and half anticipating it, he opened his jaws and grabbed a few deathberries.

_There are exactly nine. That's funny. _He thought, studying the berries.

As he swallowed, the pain caught up with him. Bile rose in his throat and he desperately fought to keep the deathberries down, but his stomach won, and he vomited violently.

The only contents of his vomit were brown stomach liquid and the deathberries.

_No use wasting good deathberries. _

He dragged himself towards his vomit and licked it blindly until he found the deathberries. He ate them again, managing to keep them down.

Suddenly pain choked his body. Coughing and foaming at the mouth, his body began a series of slow, painful spasms. The only thing keeping him in his surrendering state was the thought that the Dark Forest could be even better then this.

He fell into the familiar routine of losing a life, and slowly twitched back to life, his body limp with exhaustion.

Then he heard paw steps.

_Russetfur._

He stayed as still as possible and the she-cat touched a paw to his flank and shook him.

"Blacky, Blacky, Blacky. You actually did it. I didn't think you had it in you." she muttered. "Your blood is pure. It will be of good use to me."

Blackstar knew that if he wanted to strike, now would be the time. Summoning all of his remaining strength, he heaved himself upward and slashed Russetfur across the eye, causing it to bleed.

She growled and smiled. Cackling, she bit into his flank and ripped out his organs, sending a splatter of blood and body juices and surging everywhere.

Blackstar fell to the ground, where he died, over and over. Russetfur grinned in satisfaction when he at last grew limp.

"I love you too, dear." she whispered, nuzzling the gore covered body. "But next time, don't test me. Because I _always _win. Goodnight, my sweet mate. May your eternal dreams be as crooked and twisted as your last moments."

And on that happy note, she then preyed on his intestines.

XXX

Aww. Blackstar always been meh favorite, so this was sad to write.

But tell me what you think anyways!

_Push you cross that line_

_Just stay down this time_

_Hide in yourself_

_Crawl in yourself_

_You'll have your time_

_God I'll make them pay_

_Take it back one day_

_I'll end this day_

_I'll splatter color_

_On this gray_

_Waiting for the one_

_The day that never comes_

_When you stand up_

_And feel the warmth_

_But the sunshine never comes_

_Love is a four letter word_

_And never spoken here_

_Love is a four letter word_

_Here in the prison_

_I suffer this no longer_

_I'll put an end to_

_This I swear_

**-The Day That Never Comes, Metallica**

_I told you everything_

_Opened up and let you in_

_You made me feel alright_

_For once in my life_

_Now all that's left of me_

_Is what I pretend to be_

_So together, but so broken up inside_

_'Cause I can't breathe_

_No, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hangin' on_

_Here I am, once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny it, can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up, deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these hazel eyes_

_Swallow me then spit me out_

_For hating you, I blame myself_

_Seeing you it kills me now_

_No, I don't cry on the outside_

_Anymore..._

**-Behind These Hazel Eyes, Kelly Clarkson**


	5. Sore And Sick

"Littlecloud." Russetfur's mew made the small tabby jump to his feet in alarm.

"I-I wasn't sleeping, just resting my paws a bit… PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" Littlecloud stuttered, his fur fluffing out in alarm.

Russetfur narrowed her emerald eyes. "Stop your whining. I need my medicine cat to accompany me to the Moonpool to receive my nine lives. Go on."

She grabbed his chain and unhooked it from his neck. Littlecloud got to his paws, eyes shining with gratitude.

"Well? Don't stare at me all day. Get your tail up and let's move."

Littlecloud scrambled till he was standing beside the ginger she cat. Her pelt was prickling with annoyance and impatient, and Littlecloud could comprehend from his fever choked mind that she wanted her nine lives and she wanted them NOW. He paused for a moment and rubbed his face with a paw, feeling almost as sick as when he and Whitethroat had dare traveled across the ThunderClan border in search of help. He recalled the promise he had made earlier to his Clanmates in the prison that he would try to sneak them back herbs if Russetfur ever let him out. When they returned from the Moonpool, this would be his chance.

***

Littlecloud watched as Russetfur lowered her head to the Moonpool and sank into a quiet sleep. He wanted nothing more then to leap into the frigid waters and soak every inch of him in the refreshing cold that the Moonpool was. He longed to lap from the silver waters let the taste of moonlight and ancient wind fill his body once more. But he stayed still and watched Russetfur go through spasm after spasm as she received her nine lives, sometimes muttering or clawing like she was in battle.

Slowly a thought crept into his mind from the darkest of his ideas. Like a rat crawling from the goo and trash that the Carrionplace had been, it sank into his head and grasped on and would not let go, like a stubborn leech.

_I could kill Russetfur before she awakens._

Littlecloud froze in horror, breathing deeply to remain calm. After a short coughing fit he opened his eyes.

_Kill my leader? As evil as Russetfur is, I couldn't kill her… I mean, she is my leader… and my mate, come to think of it… I can't do that…. what would Blackstar think?_

But he knew that if he murdered Russetfur right now, the starry pelted Blackstar would probably cheer.

_Okay, bad example. What would Cinderpelt think?_

That thought was enough to stop him from drawing his claws and sinking them into her neck, payback for all the terrible things she'd put him and his Clanmates through.

_It…. it's just the fever. I'm not thinking straight. _Littlecloud convinced himself, terrified by the dark thoughts fogging his mind and sight. He could just imagine Russetfur lying there, blood pouring from her chest and muzzle and neck, gurgling and twitching slowly, as her newly gained lives were ripped from her very soul… and Littlecloud himself standing beside her, covered in her blood, licking his scarlet stained pelt to literally taste victory.

Littlecloud nearly was swung off his feet by this hallucination, and it took all his willpower not to make it come true. The Moonpool's water lapped at his paw gently, reminding himself of his position. The cold water sent shivers up his spine, and he kept his paw there, imagining that he was sharing tongues with StarClan.

_It will only be a little while till she wakes up. I have that long to stop myself from killing her._

He tried not to blink, for the second he closed his eyes he watched the same dark desires play out in front of him… biting Russetfur's throat and lapping at her fresh, warm, blood like it was Moonpol water. The next scene would be him mating with Tawnypelt, the tortoiseshell she-cat shown with an unhappy frown on her face. Then it would flash back to Russetfur's body, dead and bloodless, and the gasps of all the Clans as Littlecloud dragged her body into the Gathering- a weak medicine cat no more, but a strong warrior that would kill anyone in his path.

Littlecloud shook his head again, feeling dizzy once more. He fell to his paws suddenly, and half of his face became buried in the gravel near the Moonpool. His thoughts twisted in and out of reality until he could barely tell where he was, and his head throbbed like there was another sun hidden inside him, burning him from the inside. Hot enough to turn the Moonpool to steam.

He slowly, like a worm crawling out from the mud, dragged himself from his feverish sleep. His Clanmates were counting on him.

Getting to his paws shakily and nearly stumbling, he scanned the Moonpool for herbs.

_None here, you stupid mousebrain. _His mind seemed to snap. He jumped back weakly but surely in fear as Russetfur opened her eyes. For a moment the she-cat stumbled and Littlecloud stepped forward on shaky feet to catch her.

Russetfur straightened herself up, slightly wet fur rippling in the breeze.

"Russetfur-"

"That's Russet_star_ to you." She growled and began walking up the path.

From this angle Littlecloud could tell her belly was swollen with kits. To think, only a while ago he had been thinking of killing his leader! Now that she had her nine lives, maybe she'd be a little more sensible.

Suddenly Littlecloud remembered his promise to the others.

_The herbs._

"Russetfu- Russetstar, you go run ahead. I-I forgot something I need to get."

Russetstar narrowed her gaze. "You aren't running off to ThunderClan, are you?"

Littlecloud shook his head. "No, ma'm."

Russetfur bent down till she was facing him. "Just in case…" She raised her paw, black claws sparkling silver in the moonlight.

Littlecloud felt a sudden sense of danger but felt he could not move. In one swift move Russetstar swiped across his flank lightly but enough to draw blood and then bent back one of his back paws until she heard a satisfying snap.

Littlecloud felt immense pain and collapsed, weak frame wracked with sobs and wails that still did not measure to the amount of pain he was feeling. It was if Russetstar had taken his spine and twisted it.

Russetstar smiled and trotted off. The rain slowly began to fall, calming Littlecloud's fever but strengthening his pain even more.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, face buried in his front paws, not daring to look at his injuries.

_I'm a medicine cat! _He scolded himself.

He slowly glanced at his paw. It was twisted back completely, and it was oozing blood and pus.

He gagged and vomited onto a nearby puddle. Since he had no food in his stomach, he kept retching and retching till he finally coughed up brown, bloody liquid. He collapsed back down, sides heaving and paws bloody.

Gathering his strength, he pushed himself up, ignoring the pain that shot up his back, causing the hair on the back of his neck to rise.

Gagging once more as he forced himself into a standing position, he forced the bile down his throat and kept it there.

He could feel his strength diminishing and knew he would pass out soon. The only thing close was the ThunderClan border.

ThunderClan! Maybe if he got across the border he could find help. Maybe he could free ShadowClan. It was worth a shot.

But this time he wouldn't have Whitethroat with him, guiding him and giving him hope. But in his heart he knew Whitethroat was still there, watching him, following him, encouraging him, he just couldn't see him.

_For Whitethroat. _He thought before setting off.

It was a long, painful journey. He dragged his lame foot behind him like a dead weight. He eventually fell to his paws and began to drag himself as the rain stopped and his fever got worse. A few times he could have swore he was delirious, he could have swore he saw Nigthstar and Foxheart and Runningnose shifting through the trees in front of him, their starry shapes too blurry to make out. Maybe it was the fever making him see these scenes. Or maybe it was that he was so close to death that StarClan was appearing before him.

He dragged himself more, his only motivation to stop this pain. His head throbbed more and he found it hard to breathe.

_What a disgrace I am. _he thought. _Crawling in the mud like a sick rat to seek help from a Clan that doesn't even care. Who am I kidding?_

He was so caught up in these thoughts that he didn't realize he'd reached the ThunderClan border. He stayed there, and as his vision began to darken with fever, he saw a face leaning over him. She looked so familiar… the same pale grey fur, the same sparkling, kind blue eyes, and the same pitying expression.

"C-Cinderpelt?" he rasped before the world turned black and he grew limp.

XXX

_Try to find out what makes you tick._

_As I lie down_

_Sore and sick._

_Do you like that?_

_Do you like that?_

_There's a fine line between love and hate._

_And I don't mind._

_Just let me say that_

_I like that_

_I like that_

_Something's getting in the way._

_Something's just about to break._

_I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane._

_As I burn another page,_

_As I look the other way._

_I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane._

_So tell me how it should be._

_Desperate, I will crawl_

_Waiting for so long_

_No love, there is no love._

_Die for anyone_

_What have I become?_

-**Diary Of Jane, Breaking Benjiman**


End file.
